


A Light In A Dark Place (Only To Be Put Out)

by 8lueCrush8lush



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, F/M, Sadstuck, one sided crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8lueCrush8lush/pseuds/8lueCrush8lush
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew she had a drinking problem, but there was something else going on. He wanted to help, to have her… and yet…</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Light In A Dark Place (Only To Be Put Out)

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of a secret Homestuck gift thing on quizilla.

He knew it was going to happen one day. Not all too sure when, be it back when they were fifteen, maybe twenty, could’ve been at any time. But now, their group of friends were all twenty five, and the one thing Dirk Strider had feared, had happened.

\--  tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --

[TG]: drik  
[TG]: dirk  
[TG]: dirk  
[TG]: dirk  
[TG]: dirk  
[TG]: holy mothr of balls  
[TG]: where r u??  
[TT]: Calm down, Roxy.  
[TT]: I was taking care of some business, but I’m here now and you have my undivided attention since this seems to be an important matter by the way that you continued to type my name.  
[TG]: lol i just used cntrl c & v  
[TG]: but this is important  
[TG]: my stomche hirts rly bad and i jus t want 2 sleep  
[TG]: *hurts  
[TT]:  What do you mean that your stomach hurts?  
[TT]: Did you perhaps drink something you shouldn’t have? Or..  
[TG]: i dont even wnat 2 drink  
[TT]: I would hope not, considering the fact that you’ve been drinking since we met.  Maybe this is a change for you, Roxy. Maybe now you’ll stop drinking so much and attempt to face real life as you should.  
[TG]: ughhhhhh u dont get it  
[TG]: mayb i shuld haev told janey about this  
[TT]: But you didn’t, did you?  
[TT]: You decided to come to me, as you always do, because I’m the only one who can actually get you to calm down long enough to logically think things through.  
[TT]: Or maybe the reason you came to me right now is because Jane is offline, as is Jake, and I’m the only person you can come to.  
[TT]: I’m not sure if I should feel helpful or used, I am honestly conflicted here, Ro.  
[TT]: I would appreciate your input on the matter.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] is now an IDLE CHUM –

[TT]: …  
[TT]: Roxy?  
[TT]: Did you fall asleep at your computer again.  
[TT]: Oh, I apologize, pass out at your computer again?  
[TT]: If that’s the case, why in the hell would you start pestering me in the first place. You should realize how rude it is to do this to a bro.  
[TT]: I might have other things going on, and I dropped them to talk to you.  
[TT]: For heaven’s sake, Roxy what the fuck are you doing?

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] has switched their status to ONLINE --

[TT]: Have you finally returned?  
[TG]: oh god dirk plz just get ur ass over here  
[TG]: i cant do thsi anymore

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] is now OFFLINE --

Dirk sat at his computer, staring at the chat screen in what could be best described as shock.

Those messages were not normal from her, drunk or not. Dirk knew Roxy better than anyone, even her so called best friend, Jane Crocker. He often wondered if the two of them were growing apart, since well, that’s almost what happened with himself and Jake. The reason being? Jake and Jane had decided to move in together, take their relationship (going on 9 years this year) to the next level, so the two of them were busier with each other than with their best friends.

He pushed himself away from the desk, rubbing the bridge of his nose before getting up and moving about his apartment to get his things together. He was going to fulfill his obligations and go check in on her, especially after that last message.

“Goddamnit, Roxy, what the hell did you do this time..” He muttered under his breath, grabbing his wallet and keys and heading out.

Thankfully, the drunkard didn’t live too far away. A few blocks at the most, since the group of them all decided to move to Washington for schooling, deciding to live close together instead of in the same place. Dirk still didn’t understand why they all couldn’t just live together, would make the whole money situation even easier, even if they were all pretty good when it came to the stuff.

So he made his way over, ignoring the fact that once again it was raining, and letting himself in her apartment (she never locked it, no matter how many times her three friends had warned her to do so.) The apartment was dark, probably because she was hungover? Maybe? Did she even get hung over with the amount of alcohol that was basically running through her veins like a river?

“Roxy? It’s just me, wherever you are..”

The apartment was too quiet as he walked through, his steps almost echoing just to add to the situation at hand. Thankfully, he heard a quiet noise, almost what sounded like a small sob. Meaning the blonde was crying. Why the hell was she crying?

He moved quickly, getting to her bedroom, only to find her curled up under the blankets. She looked so pathetic, but at least, from what he could see, there was nothing physically wrong with her. He sat on the bed, pulling the covers off of her to get a good look at her.

“Shit, Ro, you look terrible. Have you been crying all this time? What in the hell has got you so worked up?”

She was sobbing quietly, her eyes clenched shut before slowly opening, looking up at the other blonde. She looked tired, so tired and so worn out. So of course Dirk was going to be worried about her, and when she finally did reply, the contents of her words made his stomach lurch.

It spilled from her lips faster than she could control, and she already didn’t have a good hold on her words, having consumed more alcohol in the last 72 hours than she ever had during the course of a week, at least it felt that way to her.

“Dirk.. Dirk, I’m not supposed to tell you but I can’t deal with it. I was talking with Jane about three days ago, and what she told me. Dirk, they moved in together because Jake proposed. He proposed and the two of them have been keeping it a secret from everyone. I’m happy for them, I really really am. It’s great that they were able to find someone who could be there for them and take care of them and all that bullshit that goes in with a marriage. But it made me realize, I’m twenty five, I’ve never dated, I have nothing going for me. I’ve only had you and them, and now I’m already losing both of them to each other. I barely get replies anymore and fuck, Dirk. _It hurts_.”

Her words hit strong, and it finally clicked in Dirk’s brain. That’s why Jake was barely online anymore, _that’s_ why it took him forever to reply to a text, and of course, that’s why they weren’t spending as much time together as they had been before. Jake had a life, he had a life with Jane and the two of them were thinking about the future.

Besides that though, it hurt seeing her like this. Even for being a drunk, he wanted her happy at whatever costs. He wouldn’t say it too often, but he did love her. He loved her, and just like when he had a crush on Jake, he was almost positive that she didn’t return the true _feelings_ he held for her.

Now he understood exactly why she said that she felt sick and didn’t want to drink.

He wanted to speak, tell her everything was going to be okay, that she would find someone that cared for her (even if it wasn’t himself.) And yet, that’s exactly what her next words were.

“Dirk, I just, is it too much to ask to have someone care for me the way the two of them care for each other?” Her voice was soft as she spoke, attempting to control the small hiccups that she gained from forcing herself to stop sobbing. She was moving as well, making use of the extra person in her apartment, throwing her arms around his middle and basically curling up in his lap.

Dirk couldn’t help himself from tangling his fingers in her hair, attempting to soothe her, calm her so she would stop crying all together.

_Alright, Dirk. You need to speak, you need to tell her that you were there for her._

“Listen, sometimes it takes a while for you to find that other half. It’s nothing to be upset about. And you know, the idiots around here can’t see how beautiful you are and how much of a ‘blast’, as you would say, you are to be around.” Time to start dropping hints, please. Let this work. “I be there’s someone out there who actually wants to get closer to you, take care of you and treat you like a princess.”

Her grip on him tightened slightly before she lifted her gaze, as well as her arms, taking off his shades. It was normal, he had gotten used to her taking them off, and now-a-days, he didn’t mind it. It was a way to show that he trusted her, that he could be open with her if needed. And well, it was needed, especially right now.

“Dirk, you’re really a big softy under that douchebag, party pooper shell. You’re kind of like that light in a dark place that I can always turn to if I need to..”

His chest hurt, fuck, it hurt so much because he just wanted her to shut up and realize that he was always going to be there for her. He wanted to be more than-

“Fuck, you’re the best friend any guy or girl could ask for. Love you, Dirky.”

And just like that, the spark was gone, his eyes dropped down and away just as she moved again, hugging him and closing her own eyes.

Why was it, that whenever he wanted to further a relationship, the other half wasn’t interested? They didn’t notice that he wanted more. This was the second time, and he didn’t want to try for a third. Maybe he should just give up.

Maybe.. he should..

“Love you too, Roxy.”

_I love you more than you know._


End file.
